I love summer. It’s my favorite time of the year after spring and autumn.
That may not sound like a ringing endorsement but, trust me, it’s true.
Anyway, one of my favorite things about summer is taking our annual family vacation.
My favorite vacations are the ones where we go on extended road trips.
I absolutely love exploring the United States by car. So far I’ve made seven coast-to-coast cross-country trips in my lifetime, three growing up with my folks and four more as an adult, so suffice it to say that I have some experience in this arena.
For me, half the fun of any road trip is in the planning, but over the years I’ve learned the hard way that the overall success of a road trip strongly depends on the decisions you make when arranging it. Zig when you should be zaggin’, and what you intended to be a family vacation for the ages becomes a family vacation for the rages.
(Give me a break, would ya? I laid awake all night trying to come up with that line.)
Take it from me. If you want to guarantee your family’s summer vacation is a real loser, then make sure you follow these nine tips.
1. Remember, a road trip is all about experiencing the adventure. If you’re going to a major metropolitan city with lots of sights to see, like New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, or Washington D.C., then maximize the thrill by refusing to plan any aspect of your stay while your there. Fantastic travel guides like Fodor’s that have already done much of the research dirty work is for conservative losers.
2. Be sure to save a few bucks by failing to become a member of the American Automobile Association (AAA). Never mind that their free road maps, TourBook guides to sights and hotel and restaurants, and on-line interactive TripTik Travel Planner are well worth the price of membership.
3. Cars today never break down, so don’t bother getting your oil changed, and checking the tire pressure and belts before you leave. If an idiot light does come on, you can always add water, oil or other fluids while you’re on the road, er, unless you’re in the middle of nowhere.
4. While you’re at it, don’t bother checking to see if you have your updated license, registration and insurance papers with you either. Since you always obey the traffic laws the odds are you aren’t going to be tempted to speed on those long lonely stretches of highway anyway. Even so, if you do get a ticket in another state you don’t have to pay the fine – assuming you never plan on coming back, that is.
5. Pack lots and lots of clothes, preferably for every single day of your trip. Even if it is two or three weeks long. Be sure to use every available piece of luggage in your possession and pack it to the gills so you can lug it around with you from location to location. True, more luggage means less freedom, but who wants to spend one night a week doing a little laundry when they’re on vacation? Packing intelligently is so overrated.
6. Maximize your gas mileage by cramming the family into an economy compact vehicle. If you are traveling without the kids, don’t miss a chance to impress others by traveling in a cramped sports car. Large cars that are built for maximizing passenger comfort over long distances, like mini vans are so overrated. Besides, minivans are terrible for your street cred.
7. While on the road, keep a strict travel itinerary and do not – I repeat, DO NOT – deviate from it. Remember, it’s all about the destination and getting there on time – so stick to the sterile Interstate highways and stay off those two-lane blacktop back roads. Make unplanned sites and other points of interest strictly verboten. Yes, those half-buried Cadillacs sticking out of the ground off the side of the road do look interesting, but it’s more important to make sure you get to the next hotel on time. Hey, maybe you’ll get a prize from the front desk staff for getting there before 5 p.m.
8. Speaking of hotels… If you’ve got kids, make sure you save money by staying in economy hotels because there is nothing better than spending your downtime cooped up in a tiny 300 square foot room with a couple of rambunctious rugrats and one television set. Think about it. After traveling together in a car all day, why would anybody bother spending a little extra for a multi-room extended-stay suite? It’s just wrong for Mommy and Daddy to ask for an hour or two of “me” time when family vacations are all about being together 24/7.
9. When it comes time to eat, make sure you always dine at the same tired old chain restaurants you have back home. Even though the best meals you’ll ever have will never be found at those national establishments, trying the local cuisine while dining at a local mom and pop restaurant is just way too risky – even when the parking lot is obviously full of patrons.
That’s about it. Hopefully I didn’t miss anything.
Have fun. Oh, and don’t forget to send me a postcard.
***
For more on this topic from The Money Mavens, be sure to check out these articles…
Canadian Finance Blog: How We Plan to Have a Cheap Vacation This Summer
Green Panda Treehouse: How to Not Go Anywhere and Still Have Fun During My Summer Vacation
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Too funny!
I would add number 10:
If you are driving more than 3 hours with kids, forget about bringing a DVD player in the backseats. Suggest your kids to look outside and count the red cars instead. It is so much fun to sing kid songs for 5 hours in a car, who would need a DVD player that would bring peace among your children?
Cheers
Mike.
LOL! Good one, Mike! Absolutely, don’t bother trying to keep the kids busy – to the veteran road-tripper, the sound of repeated “Are we there yets?” is as beautiful a sound as the first robins’ songs at springtime.
I miss our old minivan for road-trippin. Before the seat-belt law, you could get up, walk to the back and grab a soda out of the cooler. It had way more comfort and freedom than a car, for those long trips to Oregon.
I confess to committing sin #7 a lot! My husband and I are always over-optimistic about timing so we over-schedule. We tend to get places tired and don’t leave enough time to fully enjoy them. Maybe we will get this right on our next road trip to visit both our folks in NC.
@Prosper: Yeah, Bret. The Honeybee and I have made two cross-country trips with our two kids in the Honda Odyssey and it was much more comfortable than the previous two cross-country trips I made with buddies of mine in sedans – one in an old Mustang (packed so tightly there was no air space in the back seat, it was packed from floor to ceiling). If you are going to be in a car for 10 hours per day, you better be comfortable!
@Jennifer: I think #7 is one of the easiest road trip sins to commit. I can’t stress how much fun it is to go off the Interstate for long stretches. Some of the best road trip memories and experiences I have came on back-country two-lane blacktop. That is where you get to really experience the joys of America.
I used to be guilty of #5. I’ve learned my lesson though and now I am a hardcore light packer. It’s not hard to find a laundromat and because you are packing light you won’t be there all day washing clothes anyway! Good tips Len!
When I was a kid, my father loved taking road trips. My cousins and I would cram into my aunt’s station wagon and head off to some completely unplanned and vague destination. Oh, what memories. After a day or two on the road everyone was cranky, at each others throats, and ready to go home. But we’d stick it out for a full week or two, we just had to get in all the sights! Needless to say, my cousins, siblings, and I haven’t subjected our own families to this tradition.
@Kathy: I have always been a notoriously light packer. Sometimes dangerously light. I figure in a pinch I can always mooch off the hotel for spare toothpaste and buy spare toiletries and even underwear in the event of an unlikely emergency. (I know, TMI. LOL)
@LittleHouse: What???? You hate road trips??? Blasphemy, I say! LOL Seriously though, I do realize road trips are an acquired taste for some. I also realize a lot of people absolutely HATE them! It really helps to take road trips in small chunks of, say, 300 miles per day tops. That way you maximize site seeing and minimize time in the car. That is rarely possible though if you plan on driving coast-to-coast unless you have three or four weeks vacation saved up.
I tell ya, every time I take the Porsche 997 Turbo out for a road trip, it is a BLAST!
What’s the farthest you’ve gone, Sam? I’ve been in some tiny sports cars that, as a passenger, I was uncomfortable being in for even a short 2-mile trip to a restaurant for lunch.
About 35 miles. That’s as far as the salesman would allow me to go!
LOL! I walked right into that one, Sam. I forgot about Moose. ;-P
Hahaha, yihaw!
Sorry, I meant to write 5 miles!
My girlfriend and I went from Tucson to the Grand Canyon and it was amazing. I feel like I’ve experienced 98% of the state.
You really miss out on so much when you fly.
Austin @ Foreigner’s Finances
Well said, Austin!
It’s tough to appreciate the size of the US when we fly. A lot of people who travel between the coasts by air have no idea what America is REALLY like between New York and Los Angeles.
LOL this is awesome! These nine tips will ensure you will have a trip that you will never forget!
I’m guilty of #3 for sure.
When down for a trip to San Fransisco and didn’t check the tire pressure or bother seeing if my tread was good enough for such a long drive…
Low and behold the tire pops on I-5 in Oregon on the way back. We had to drive for 5 hours (when it would normally take maybe 1 hour) because we couldn’t go over the 50km/h on our little dinky spare tire.
That was fun. =)
Good point about the tires, Y&T. Nobody should be heading out on a road trip on bald tires. When I was in high school, I ran on bald tires for a long time – not because I didn’t have the money, but because my priorities were misguided. Eventually, I had a blowout on one of my front tires while I was on the freeway and I ran right off the highway. Luckily, the freeway traffic was fairly light and I wasn’t hurt.
Some of my best memories of childhood were of those long driving vacations. I ended up visiting 47 of the 50 states, and probably 1/2 of them involved some wacky experiences. Planning has to happen, and it’s easier now than ever…but it’s fun to be flexible on what you do, as well. And try some local mom-and-pop restaurants, or even a few regional chains if you must. I discovered Chick-fil-A this way, far from my midwest roots…good stuff! Or In-and-Out burger in Southern California…more good stuff! May not have contributed to my health, but good anyway:)
Me too. I have great childhood memories driving cross-country. I have driven in 43 of the 50 states, and I intend to knock out the other 7 soon!
i have never made the trip across the entire country by car. i have flown back and forth 10+ times. i don’t mind a 4 hour car trip but more than that i i might as well fly.
that being said there are so many wonderful historic places i still want to visit so at some point i DO see a trip in my future.
Uh oh. I don’t plan a lot, if at all for road trips. That’s part of why I got an RV. This summer, it will be a cross country RV trip playing the dice game the entire time I’m traveling.
Here’s what I mean:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwBLjqhSLq8
Besides, I thought you liked gambling? lol
That was a cool video! What an awesome idea! You know, I was planning out the itinerary for my trip to Washington DC in a couple weeks, but I just ripped it up – I’m going with the dice now too! (And yes, Mom, I love to gamble – er, within rigidly defined financial limits, that is.)
#11 Do not bring luggage with wheels, especially if you are traipsing across Europe. Wheels are for the weak!
another one, make sure there’s not endless miles of construction on your path! blech!
Good one, Chris!
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