Like most people, I have very strong opinions when it comes to tipping rates for various services that expect them. For example, I staunchly believe that 15 percent is completely acceptable for good restaurant service.
It used to be that tipping was meant to reward and encourage your server for exemplary service. Unfortunately, with the advent of socialistic tipping pools and mandatory gratuities, that seems to be the exception rather than the rule.
Indeed, one of my biggest pet peeves with respect to tipping is the “mandatory gratuity” (talk about an oxymoron) of usually 18 percent that most establishments now tack on to any bill for large parties.
What is the logic behind enforcing a mandatory gratuity, especially for large parties comprised of at least six to eight people, and just how did this practice ever come to be in the first place? Anyone? Anyone?
Have rigorous academic studies been conducted that conclusively prove the collective intelligence of large parties drops to such a degree that they become incapable of figuring out a proper tip based upon the service they received? Bueller?
If so I demand to see them – but I’m not going to hold my breath.
Maybe it’s a sign of the depressed economic climate, but one restaurant in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, recently had two people arrested for refusing to pay a mandatory 18 percent gratuity.
According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, Leslie Pope and John Wagner, “had to find their own napkins and cutlery while their waitress caught a smoke, had to ask the bar for soda refills, and had to wait over an hour for salad and wings.”
That sounds like crap service to me too – and if I were Pope and Wagner (sounds like a songwriting tandem, doesn’t it?), I would have simply walked out 30 minutes after ordering.
It’s hard to believe that these dubious scofflaws had criminal theft charges filed against them for failing to pay a mandatory $16.35 gratuity for lousy service – but they did.
That doesn’t mean they didn’t have options available to them; they just chose the wrong one.
The first thing you need to understand is that, as a customer, you have a lot of leverage – especially with respect to the highly competitive restaurant industry.
Here are several suggestions you can use to help you avoid paying a mandatory gratuity for diabolical service:
1. Request the Mandatory Gratuity Be Waived
As a preemptive move, you can ask the restaurant if they will waive the mandatory gratuity. Why might they do that? Because you have a large party and they may not be willing to risk losing your business, that’s why. Here’s another reason: Some restaurants may jump at the chance to see their servers earn an even bigger payday. Better than nine times out of ten the service I receive at most bars and restaurants I frequent is good to excellent, which means my servers are routinely scoring between 15 and 20 percent of my bill – sometimes more than that. As a form of protest, when it comes to mandatory gratuities, I never pay more than what I am forced to pay – even if the service is exemplary. Suggest to the manager that, in lieu of waiving the mandatory gratuity, your party will tip more than 18 percent for excellent service.
2. Break up Your Party into Separate Tables
Breaking up your party into two or three smaller adjacent tables is another preemptive move that has the added benefit of ensuring you’ll probably get better service. Think about it. When you are with a large party, a table for eight has to wait longer than a table for four because there are more meals that have to be prepared. A table of 16 requires an even longer wait. And let’s face it: If you are in a party with 16 people, are you really able to converse with Aunt Edna who is stuck at the far end of a chain of four tables? The reality is, most people are only socializing with the people who are sitting adjacent and across from them anyway.
3. Talk to Your Server
Okay, enough for the preemptive suggestions. Let’s assume you’ve already sat down with your large party and your server is off to a bad start. Tell them about it! Of course, do it tactfully and with a smile (as the saying goes, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar). In my experience, this step is usually enough to nip any problems in the bud before they get too bad and you are forced to pay good money for bad service.
4. Inform the Manager You’d Like A Different Server
So you’ve talked to your server but you’re still not getting results? Then talk to the manager about the poor service and request another server. Although it is doubtful the manager will comply with your request, the odds are you will get him to help ensure the rest of your time at the restaurant goes as smoothly as possible. Often times, when well-founded, a talk with the manager will result in some sort of compensation for your troubles such as one or two comped appetizers or meals – which often offsets a portion of the mandatory gratuity.
5. Dispute the Tip with Your Credit Card Company
Let’s assume the manager has been unsympathetic to your plight, your meals were delivered cold, you never got those drink refills, and the server had an attitude. Now you’re looking at an 18% mandatory gratuity for the, um, fine service. Calmly pay for the entire bill, including the mandatory gratuity, using your favorite credit card. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT pay for the bill in cash. When you get home, immediately send a polite letter to the offending restaurant complaining of the poor service you received and requesting your tip money back. After that is done, call your credit card company and dispute the mandatory gratuity.
Pope and Wagner aren’t the first people this has ever happened to. In fact, a similar event occurred several years ago in Lake George, New York, but charges were dropped when the District Attorney said the man could not be forced to pay a gratuity even though the restaurant said tips of 18 percent were mandatory for parties of six or more.
Meanwhile, the Philadelphia Inquirer reporter who reported on Pope and Wagner’s story told me via email that charges against the two, “were supposed to be dropped.” He noted that the prosecutor refused to prosecute because it was a civil dispute.
Just remember, whenever you’re faced with having to reward incompetent servers with an 18 percent gratuity for pitiful service, you don’t have to make yourself a martyr and expose yourself to a potential criminal conviction or a costly civil trial over a little chump change.
There are plenty of other options available to you – and they’re more effective too.
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These are great tips! My hubby is a chef, and for parties over 8 they put on the gratuity. I think it’s 18%. BUT it is a 4 star restaurant, and if someone got bad service I am sure they would complain about it. Personally I think the added on gratuity is kind of crappy, but that’s just me.
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Here’s a tip I would add: vote with your feet by avoiding restaurants that charge a mandatory gratuity.
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Is just walking away not good enough Len? Is this a guilt thing people have that we are always supposed to tip?
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@Mrs. Money: I would think that wait staff at a four-star restaurant – where I would expect the service to be 4-star as well – would really be upset with the mandatory gratuity because it puts a cap on their tips by a lot of people who think like me.
@Susan: In a perfect world, I agree. But sometimes that is easier said than done, especially if you have no control over who the location.
@Sam: I know where you are coming from, but I was addressing so-called “mandatory gratuities.” Simply walking away from a restaurant that advertises a mandatory gratuity risks costly civil litigation or potential criminal prosecution, as I illustrated in the article.
An even bigger pet peeve of mine is when places that do not even have waiters still hand you a receipt to sign that has a tip line.
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If you go the last route, I would add one thing:
Sign, but circle the tip and draw an arrow down below your signature and write “Under protest of mandatory gratuity for subpar service.”
That will give you a lot more leverage when you go to dispute the charge. You won’t look like a person just trying to get a few bucks back that you aren’t due.
@CCC: Yes! Very very deceptive!
@MLR: Didn’t think of that! Good idea!! Your suggestion is a quick and dirty way to document your dissatisfaction that people might find more palatable that my more formal suggestion to write a formal letter. If you ultimately protest the charges, the credit card company will ask if you have first tried to resolve the problem with the merchant – they usually won’t start an investigation unless you say yes. I’m not certain, but I suspect both avenues (formal letter and protest message on receipt) should be adequate to meet that requirement.
have you ever been a server? i agree that you should not HAVE to tip for bad service, but i used to be a server at the air port… i worked in the international terminal, i would get large parties from different parts of the world, (ive made a lot of money being a server because of my great service…) anyway, in china and the UK i guess they just dont tip, or they always think its included… i was very thankful for the gratuity in cases like this
but unfortunately many times when there was only a party of 4 and they all ordered the most expensive steak and drank alot of beer, i didnt get a penny from them, because there werent 6 or more of them…. not fun at all busting your butt for a table that didnt leave you a penny 
if you get bad service you should tell the manager, enough complaints on someone they will eventually get fired
As a former server I’ll say that after a few occasions of…
- providing impeccable service to large parties
- getting screwed on the tip, sometimes no tip at all
- paying out of my own pocket to serve them (servers owe a percentage of their total sales to others regardless if you tip)
…I decided something is always better than nothing and I’d rather grat to ensure I got the something. The people who appreciated good service were going to take care of me even if I grat’ed them. The ppl who were cheap or felt I should pick another profession to get paid weren’t going to leave a tip unless it was added on the bill. Just my 2 cents.
Also Len, you’d be surprised how many people tip poorly at nice restaurants.
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totally agree with you ashley… thats why i asked him if he had ever been a server
Just to be clear, the point of this post was how to avoid paying mandatory gratuities for bad service. Not how to avoid tipping your server, period.
@Carlye: Nope, I’ve never been a server – but does it really matter anyway? It looks like you and I are in complete agreement that imposing mandatory gratuities on people is wrong.
@Ashley: If you were my server I’d always give you 25%! Promise!
I take it that you aren’t bothered by mandatory gratuities? I do completely understand that even servers who perform flawlessly will get shafted on occasion – so I completely sympathize with servers in that regard. I just don’t think the fact that there are poor tippers among us justifies the restaurant industry practice of imposing mandatory gratuities on the rest of us.
i would just like to add, that if you had ever been a server you would probably LOVE the mandatory gratuities!
thats why i asked, because i dont know one server that would say they didnt agree with it haha
oh and i do agree with the mandatory gratuity… if you had bad service THEN dispute it
Is it still a gratuity if it is mandatory, Carlye? Or should it be considered a customer subsidy of the server’s wages?
I just want to say, before everyone here decides to start whining and complaining about “bad service” and getting the mandatory grat taken off the bill – The service is NEVER as bad as people make it out to be, however, when one thing goes wrong in a meal that suddenly snowballs into everything and every part of said meal being horrible, meaning it’s time to screw the server.
Keep that in mind when you’re thinking just how horrible your service really was!
Well, I agree and disagree, Ribeye. Sometimes, the service can be really bad. But generally, I have to agree with you – most of the time, things aren’t as bad as they may seem. The “bad” service most people receive is very rarely worthy of handing out a 0% – 5% tip. Ten percent, yes. Zero, no.
if you left it up to the customers how much to leave as a tip when you have a big party you risk getting screwed… i agree with your suggestions if you are really that against the gratuity of course if you are willing to tip fairly….i promise just ask any server what THEY think, you should do a poll, you would be surprised
Carlye, I realize 95% of servers would agree with you – but don’t you think they’re just a bit, um, biased?
LOL
Let me give you the same analogy I gave to Ashley off-line…
Most people don’t donate their “fair share” of their income to charity. Let’s say “fair share” is defined as 10 percent of your salary. Should the US government take 10% of your pay – and everybody else’s too – and give it to charity to ensure the charities don’t get stiffed? To argue for mandatory gratuities because not everybody tips like they should is to also argue for government confiscation of some amount of of our pay on the grounds that most people don’t give their fair share to charity.
Think about it.
the people that donate to charity arent actively seeking a service, if you sit down at a restaurant your expecting to be served, your analogy doesnt have to do with this situation, its your perception…. think about it
I don’t follow. Both are examples of forcing people to pay for something they feel they shouldn’t have to, be it rotten wait-staff service or a charity. In fact, the more subtle point I was trying to make was that mandatory gratuities are essentially “server charity.”
amen ribeye!
what you dont seem to understand is that like ashley said, when you dont get tipped or you get a horrible tip, you still have to tip out bartenders and bussers a percentage of your sales…. why is it ok for a server to have to pay them out of their pocket because of all the bad tippers out there? like i said its perception, you havent been a server so you couldnt truly understand
I do understand that Carlye. Is it fair servers have to tip out bartenders and bussers a percentage of their sales? No. (Why isn’t it a percentage of their tips, by the way?) But it’s also not fair to ask customers to pay an 18% mandatory gratuity when they are given crappy service.
I have been a server and I am biased in that regard… but my argument is not considering that.
The fact of the matter is: if it says it in the menu then you have to pay it. You are CHOOSING to enter into a contract that is clearly stated on the menu prior to you ordering. That part is your prerogative.
I mean, would you walk up to a kid at a lemonade stand selling cups for 25 cents and drink one and then tell the kid “there wasn’t enough sugar in it so I’m going to give you 10 cents because that’s all it’s worth.” No. It would be absurd. The reason I chose such a silly analogy is because refusing to pay the server for unfortunate circumstances (I’ve never seen a server be rude of their own will; they are, after all, working for tips and are not stupid) would hit them as hard as it would the kid at the lemonade stand.
There are set prices in restaurant menus. When you order a hamburger at the menu price of 7 dollars, you are agreeing to pay the 7 dollars for the hamburger. If you don’t like the price then you don’t enter the contract. Now, if the hamburger is sub-par, then you may negotiate with the manager for a discount or some consolation… but you don’t just get to say “I’m only paying 4 dollars for this hamburger.” And… a restaurant discounting you is no skin off their backs. But to a server to take a “discount in their tip” it makes a world of difference.
What if your boss decided to dock you pay for a day because you had a bad day and made a mistake?
If you have a problem with mandatory gratuity then you have a problem with the restaurant, or the culture who accepted the custom, but not the server. The servers are not the ones who made the choice to lay the burden of paying their wages on the consumer, so don’t punish them for your distaste of it.
Deny the restaurant your patronage if you see it printed in their menu. Be mad at the masters if that’s how you feel… but don’t kick the cat over it.
Amanda: Thanks for your passionate comments!
I never penalize a server for errors out of their control – like a slow kitchen. Usually, my tips come down to quality of service provided.
I’ll agree that it is rare for a server to have a bad attitude. But you can’t assert that there is no such thing as a server who is rude of their own will simply because you’ve never seen one before. That is a purely anecdotal argument; I know for a fact you’ve never seen my dog before either, but I assure you he exists.
Maybe you just haven’t been around long enough to encounter a server who happens to be having a rotten day and they, either consciously or unconsciously, end up being rude to their patrons. I have. Believe me, it happens – we’re all human beings, after all. So on the rare occasion it does happen, why should I reward a server for a bad attitude (who also manages to ruin what was supposed to be a pleasant night out for me)? Simply because it would hit them as hard as it would hit a kid at a lemonade stand? That is absurd.
You believe servers are “entitled” to be paid a subsidy by the customer, regardless of the level of service provided: “The servers are not the ones who made the choice to lay the burden of paying their wages on the consumer…”
But if I can negotiate the price of a $7 hamburger down to $4 when its quality is below par, why can’t I negotiate an oxymoronic “mandatory gratuity” from 18% to 10% or 5%? After all, aren’t tips (mandatory or otherwise) paid in expectation of decent service – just as I pay money for a hamburger with the expectation that it will be of decent quality? Of course, they are!
You can’t have it both ways, Amanda. You can’t argue that it is okay to renegotiate “a contract” for a $7 hamburger, but not okay to renegotiate “a contract” for an 18% mandatory gratuity simply because the poor server would be “hit hard.”
Nobody forced servers into their jobs – at least I hope not. If they don’t like the fact that there are customers out there like me who absolutely refuse to give an 18% tip for poor service, then maybe they should be mad at themselves for agreeing to become a server in the first place.
But maybe that’s just me.
Thanks again for your comments. I do know servers work very hard for their money.
I work as a server and am not totally opposed to the mandatory gratuity. But where I work, it is soley at the discretion of the individual server to “add” that grat option to the check before presenting the bill. I gauge my customers. If I feel like I can get better than 18%, I don’t insult them by putting a mandatory grat on there. And if I get the feeling from them that I won’t get much, I add the gratuity. But not all restaurants are created equal.
Here’s an idea. You go work a job that pays 3.33 an hour to deal with the ego of the typical American to be judged by every action you commit in the scope of their experience in an establishment. When you deal with that kind of lunacy for a prolonged period of time I would love for you to propose the idea that gratuity should be waved. You may be a considerate enough person to at least tip, but I assure you there are people out there that are not. So when someone screws you out of 50 bucks because they don’t believe in or understand gratuity you may think again.
If you want to dispute the gratuity, simply tell your server to have the manager take it off and then explain to the server why you are giving them less money. The server should know if they gave you bad service. If they don’t they should not be serving for they are incompetent, void of intuition, lacking in empathy, etc.
At this point the manager will get involved and you can explain it to them as well if you like.
P.S. 15 percent is not a great deal of money to give someone who spent an hour trying to read your mind. Up the ante to the servers who try extra hard to genuinely please you. If they see you again they’ll even try harder. (Or tell another server to do so as well)
Thank you.
Thanks for taking the time to share your perspective, Ben. I just went out to dinner with the family last night and gave our waitress 20% for exceptional service. Out of curiosity, if you spent an hour providing exceptional service and got a 20% tip would you be disappointed with that?
Unfortunately, we disagree on the definition of gratuity. I maintain that gratuities are not an entitlement. You can rationalize your position any way you want to, but at the end of the day you think they are entitlements.
Servers are not the only folks judged by every action they commit in the experience of their customer’s experience. All of us are judged that way – be it by our boss, or our customers. And like you, sometimes we work our butts off for a whole year and come raise time we get under-compensated for our efforts – maybe no raise or even a pay cut. That’s business – and life. All you can do is get back up on the horse and work harder – or find another employer or line of work.
I don’t mean to be disrespectful here, but your comments regarding the customers from who you look to for your gratuities seem more than a bit harsh. Do you enjoy your job? If not, maybe it’s time to find another line of work that doesn’t depend on tips. I know I would.
Now, I’m not against servers but I am against gratuity where it is not deserved. Every worker has a job to do. If a server does their job and manages their customers properly Then they obviously deserve a tip. But I have noticed servers at mandatory gratuity restaurants do provide mediocre service largely because they have that safety net to fall on and will get paid their 18% regardless if they refill your drinks or not. There was a vacation resort I went to which not only over charges but when I ordered a cup of coffee, I was handed an empty cup and was pointed in the direction of the coffee machine and then robbed for the cost of coffee and 18% for handing me a cup and lifting a finger.
Which finger did you lift first, Ken? I know which one I would have raised after being treated like that. LOL
carlye
December 9th, 2009 at 8:30 am · Reply
“anyway, in the UK i guess they just dont tip, or they always think its included… ”
We don’t have a tipping culture, it is very much emphasised on the definition of gratuity that headed the post. You give a tip for something truly OUTSTANDING (or for hotel porters or taxi drivers, but that’s about it…)
We do expect everything to be priced in (so I’d actually have less of a problem with the mandatory 18%, but for goodness sake call it a ‘service charge’ not a ‘gratuity’!) It wasn’t until too late I discovered that servers in the US are expected to live off tips rather than wages. It’s just cheapskate employment practice in my eyes, a way to pass off taxes and administration to the customer by way of guilt-tripping.
You want a tip? UNIONISE!
Oh, God, Macs – please don’t use the “U” word around here. LOL
By the way, the Honeybee and I had probably the greatest meal we’ve both eaten in a long time last night at a very high-end restaurant in Huntington Beach. We raved about the food and sent our sincerest compliments to the chef. Our server was absolutely fabulous and she even ended up comping us our dessert because she said she “got a kick out of our enthusiasm for the food.” We tipped her 30% – and she deserved every penny of it.
I appreciate the fact that gratuity should be based on the level of service. What I can’t figure out is how restaurants can pay their servers less than minimum wage and expect the customer to pay for our food as well as pay the employees in the form of tips(mandatory or not). We don’t pay the worker at the department store extra for being friendly and helping us pick out the perfect gift, or the bagger at the grocery store for not squashing the bread and helping us put the groceries in the car. The stores pay their wages and if they do a bad job, they get terminated. Servers do a bad job and we only give them 10% as opposed to 20% and management says Oh, well, you should have given better service…try harder next time. I am the first person to take the time to complain about poor service…..but I also ALWAYS Tell the manager when I’ve had EXCEPTIONAL service.
Well, Brownie. The reason restaurants can pay their servers what they do is the law of supply and demand. There are simply more people willing to be servers than available positions – that forces their pay rates down into the weeds. Conversely, engineers and accountants can command much higher pay on average for the same reason – there are simply fewer people willing and able to put in the effort and work required to do those jobs. As a result, they get paid more money because employers are willing to pay a premium for their services.
Wow it looks like who ever wrote this article had absolutely no idea what is like on the server side of this. So let give all the ignorant writers and tippers out there the reason as to why gratuity is added to large parties.
Most people do not tip even 15% for for great server, most people will tip 10% or think that 5$ on anything is a good tip. Not taking into consideration the tip out, ( the amount of money a server must give based off his/her sales to the bus boy and hostesses ) which is usually around 3-4% of their sales that 10% you are leaving quickly drops to about 6-7%. For those who think 5$ on anything is good, sometimes the server just ends up paying out for your table and you’ve done nothing but waste their time and hard work.
As far as a large party is concern and it being mandatory for you to pay what is the accepted gratuity, that’s because yes; severing you and 10 of your friends is time consuming as the rest of our section will be forced to wait as we serve you and your 10 friends who do not ask for things at the same time (run the server for something every time he passes by), will usually only tip based off their meal and not take in to consideration the tax (which servers tip out on), making the biggest mess that the server will clean up at the end of the night, ext. By having you as a large table and causing the other tables to wait for service brings the tip down on those other tables as well.
So that one table of the night that came in and paid gratuity just helped that servers entire night out and probably made it worth it to be there, instead of working at a fast food joint, making the same money.
What it’s like on the server side of this is immaterial, Server. Completely irrelevant. It’s all about what it’s like for the customer, who is being forced to pay an 18 percent (or higher) gratuity regardless of whether you are doing a job that deserves it.
The fact that you feel you get shafted by some customers on your tip does not justify mandatory gratuities on the rest of us. Customers should never be forced to subsidize a server’s income regardless of their performance.
I’m curious, would you be happy if you were forced to tip a hair stylist or barber, for example, 18% even though they botched your haircut?
I’m assuming the person that wrote this article must be black and not a college graduate. If you don’t want to tip the mandatory gratuity or an any gratuity, that’s what grocery stores are for. Go buy your own food and cook yourself for your party. Waiters make way less than minimum wage and in this economy have to do everything they can to survive.
Oh boy, it looks like I caught a live one here…
“I’m assuming the person that wrote this article must be black and not a college graduate.”
WTF?
“If you don’t want to tip the mandatory gratuity or an any gratuity, that’s what grocery stores are for. Go buy your own food and cook yourself for your party.”
Who said anything about not paying a gratuity? The premise of the article is that nobody should have to pay a mandatory gratuity for BAD SERVICE. Or do you just see your customers as nothing more than a source of charity for you – forced to supplement your wage with tips regardless of the level of service you provide? (That is a rhetorical question. The answer is obvious.)
“Waiters make way less than minimum wage and in this economy have to do everything they can to survive.”
Including taking advantage of their customers by forcing them to pay tips even when they are not deserved? Right.
I think the major problem with ideas in this thread is the lack of understanding to the “tip” aspect of servicing.
People that are servers are under the misguided mindset that ‘tipping’ is a mandatory thing to compensate for the lower wage they agreed to work for their employer at the time.
Employers use that same train of thought to misguide their employees further with illusions of larger incomes.
All while not understanding that ‘tipping’ is in NO WAY mandatory, a necessity, or even a required consideration. And this statement is mostly for us Americans, because in some countries tipping isn’t even allowed, or it is looked down upon.
If you fool yourself with the belief that ‘tips’ are an ACTUAL part of your agreed upon income WITH an expected amount, then you did just that: fooled yourself.
Do I tip? Yes. Do I feel it to be Mandatory? NO. Does it have to occur? NO it does not.
Why all this? Although the discussion revolves around ‘gratuity’, the bill / receipt includes both the ‘gratuity’ and the ‘tip’ section. If gratuity is already included: then a tip definitely does not have to be given, as it was already ‘charged’.
Once I was a server at an establishment that served a buffet til a certain time, and then went to regular menu meals. Just after the buffet closed down, I was sat 4 tables – in a different room from the buffet. I took their orders, put them in the computer, and brought to their drinks. When I made it back to my last remaining ‘buffet’ table, they had been waiting for a while. They left me the amount of the bill, rounded to the next dollar. Was that fair? Yes, no, maybe. I wasn’t mad at them because I understood that from their perspective, it was bad service for no discernible reason. From my perspective, I had to choose whom to keep waiting and perhaps I chose wrongly. I no longer work as a server because I don’t see how, except in the highest-priced restaurants, a server can make decent money. A server can only provide good service to four or five tables. There is an hour of setup, another half hour or more until you get a table, and an hour of cleanup. If it is slow, you might be cut early, having worked 3 hours with only one table. IMHO, if tips were better, servers would compete for positions. In the establishment I currently manage, I frequently cannot fire anyone, because I have no acceptable applicants to replace them. The recession hurt us – servers leave because they don’t make good money. You get what’s left. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.
Great comments! In your particular scenario, I think that communication is key. Unless I am in a hurry (and I’m usually not whrn I go out to enjoy a nice dinner out) I usually don’t mind waiting if I know there is a reason for the delay – not enough staff, kitchen is backed up, etc. That’s just my two cents.
I’m a server for a local Waffle House. We’re certainly not considered a fine dining restaurant, but even so, I make reasonably good tips. There is no mandatory tipping required with our table service, so we get tipped on the basis of our service, period. Since the economy has gotten worse, I’ve noticed that the tips, per table, have, for the most part, gotten smaller. Everyone is struggling, not just us waitresses.
If you receive bad service, you shouldn’t have to tip, unless you know the server and realize that he/she isn’t up to par that day…and even then, you don’t actually need to feel that you’re required to tip. So, I agree that a mandatory gratuity is wrong. We take our chances with every new customer we wait on. Fortunately, most of my customers are wonderful.
The customer basically can control the service, believe it or not. If the customer is rude, arrogant, hateful, wants to argue over the printed menu prices, his chances of good service are slim to none. If the customer has the right to refuse to tip, we should have the right to refuse service…and we do, which is something many people don’t seem to realize. And if I refuse to serve you, and ask you to leave, and you don’t, I am within my legal rights to call the law and have you escorted out. Customer/waitress go hand in hand, it’s pretty much a symbiotic relationship, don’t you think? You can’t get your meal without me, I can’t pay my rent without you. Too bad more servers don’t realize that.
I’ve been waiting tables for about 47 years, and let me tell you, I have NEVER worked for minimum wage, and wouldn’t be able to survive if I had to. I’ll hustle tips until I’m too old to walk the floors.
Wow. Sage words, Joyce. You’ve shared some terrific insights. Thank you.
Needless to say, I completely agree with you. You’ve been in the business for a long time. However, among most of the younger servers working today, I suspect your point of view, sadly, may be in the minority.
Am I wrong?
Thanks, Len, glad you feel that way about my post. Sadly, you’re right. Most younger servers don’t seem to have caught the connection between friendly, courteous service and their tips. If they would stop to think about it, they’d realize, as I mentioned before, the TIPS and the CUSTOMER, NOT the restaurant itself, pay our rent, buy our groceries, our clothes, put our kids thru school, etc. Somtimes we just have to bite our tongues and keep smiling. It’s really a difficult job, and contrary to popular opinion, no, not anybody can do it. The stress level is unbelieveable, btw. Just thought I’d mention that, too.
What is with the 18%?? Jesus Christ only asked for 10%..
Are we being asked to tip or pay the servers wages??
YOU SHOULD NEVER REFUSE TO PAY THE GRATUITY. ARE YOU INSANE??!! Because of your large party, you are preventing the server from picking up other tables. You are preventing them from making any money. Your large party needs more attention. They can’t have other tables. All their attention should be on you. Not to mention, most problems with the kitchen arise because of large parties. It is very difficult to prepare 10 entrees to perfection all at exactly the same time without at least one side order being less than piping hot. PAY THE DAMN GRATUITIY IT MAY BE THE BULK OF THE MONEY YOUR SERVER MAKES FOR THE ENTIRE EVENING. STOP BEING SO EFFING CHEAP.
First off, Jenna: please stop shouting. Second: So in essence you are suggesting that if my server gives me lousy service I am obligated to “pay the damn gratuity” because, well, it’s the customer’s responsibility to pay the server’s wages. Did I understand you correctly? I thought that was the responsibility of her employer.
Do you really believe servers are entitled to their tips whether they deserve them or not?
Now I’m really curious. If your kid told you she was entitled to an allowance whether she did her chores or not — would you give it to her?
I remember it started years ago when the IRS started to require service people to report their tips as income and tax them on it.
Now the IRS requires service people to pay taxes on all sales, weather the customer tips or not.
So now it just another tax that the government can add to all the other taxes.
The restaurant owner is caught in the middle and he’s lucky if he makes 5% profit on the whole mess.
I sold my restaurant years ago and now operate a hot dog cart.
No employees… no landlords… no problems… and happy customers.
This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine…it is simply not fair to add a “tip” to the bill..that is the customer’s choice based on the service they receive! Its not like you have ordered something and not paid for it. Restaurants should have absolutely NO legal right to do this. The last time I was at a restaurant that added the tip to the bill, I took a pen and changed it to what I wanted to pay. When the waitress came back to take the bill, I politely informed her that I had changed the gratuity because I did not feel that the service we had received warranted a $25 tip. (And it didn’t…she was rude, forgot most of our order, did not come back in a timely manner to take our order, etc etc…not $25 worth of service at all!). Nothing happened and I do not plan to go to that restaurant again (the people that I was with joked on the way out that next time the waitress would “spit in my food!”) Bottom line, the tip is the customer’s choice, its not part of the restaurant bill.
Lyssa, I’m not sure it is very enforceable if a restaurant decides to tack on a “mandatory gratuity” and the customer refuses to pay it. Now, if they called it a “service charge” then maybe that it is another story. Not sure.
I think you did the right thing and I am glad you held your ground. However, you might want to stay away from that restaurant from now on — at least until that particular waitress is no longer employed there.
A restaurant in Philadelphia charged a mandatory 18% or 20% tip (can’t remember now). I felt the service was not up to par and asked them to let me adjust the tip, which they did. Come to think of it, I probably would have let it slide if it was 18% so I’m sure it was 20%, way too high for the level of service I received.
I’m very encouraged to hear that, Shannon! Like I said, as long as it is called a mandatory gratuity, I think restaurants have no leg to stand on when it comes to enforcing it. Besides, it’s just bad business to force customers to pay a large tip if they’ve received crap service.
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by upsideofmoney: How to Avoid Paying a Mandatory Gratuity for Bad Service http://tiny.cc/0zbLA (and not get thrown in jail trying…) (via @LenPenzo)…
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